I woke up in pain, and a lump in my anus was present. Something was not right.
After six months and doctor appointments hearing “I have no idea what “it” is, you’ll have to see someone else,” I found out about the cancer. “It” turned out to have been a sizeable tumor. HPV Anal Cancer was diagnosed. Up until then I had NO symptoms.
After an exam, the surgeon announced it as “metastatic cancer”. I had to ask them to repeat the statement. I now know that metastatic cancer, also known as secondary cancer, is cancer that spreads from its original site to other parts of the body. Biopsy surgery, followed by scans, tests, and labs, diagnosed HPV Anal Cancer Stage III, impacting lymph nodes.
As a queer, active, sober, and HIV-negative man I was unaware of HPV. I was shocked! My whole adult life I was diligent of my healthcare and STI testing. I knew nothing about Anal Pap Smears: which diagnoses the silent virus HPV and the strains causing cancer.
My cancer journey began.
Some days I felt I was in a medical blender with a turbo setting. Self-advocacy, humor (no matter how dark) and having hope is intrinsic to my healing.
I asked questions about physical, mental, and sexual health during and post-treatment. Spiritual guidance can help. Financial discussions also need to be had. Requesting an Oncology Social Worker was a game-changer. The oncology social worker helped me access services I was eligible for. Such as rides, funding, information and it gave me someone skilled to talk to about what was happening.
It was suggested I ask for help, take notes, have someone with me at appointments and do not hesitate to ask questions regardless of how “stupid” I thought they were. I asked many questions — 12-pages worth to be exact — and still there are more now that I have lived experience.
When I didn’t feel comfortable with a provider or their suggestions, I requested a second opinion. I researched and chose the Nigro Protocol (a first-line treatment for anal cancer that combines radiotherapy and chemotherapy). Integrative medicines complemented treatments also.
Today, I am NED “no evidence of disease.” I am adjusting to my “new normal”: continual positive self-talk, fitness, nutrition, and far fewer doctor appointments along with going back to work and resting are the prescription.
My journey into the cancer world was fast-paced. I feel it is important I share my experiences, given the “each one teaches one” mantra. I am now a certified Community Health Worker. I also a co-facilitate a men’s cancer support group. There are many online support groups and as a matter of fact, The Anal Cancer Foundation offers a Peer Thriver program.
I owe a debt of gratitude to my friends and Oncology-Medical Teams.
Butt (did you like that)? Please get a checkup. And if offered, choose HPV Vaccination.
Remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE and together we thrive.
I am grateful that I found The Anal Cancer Foundation.
- Kevinly 143
(143 is I Love You used by Mr. Rogers, and I use to let people know they are cared for. Kind of a sign of hope. Kevinly is a term of endearment given to me years ago.)
