In 2018 I attended the GP after discovering blood and mucus. I also had some bowel discomfort and erratic bowel movements, however, following blood tests and a stool sample which returned as normal I continued with life. At a routine appointment in January the following year I mentioned I was still bleeding at times and felt that I needed the toilet yet wouldn’t always go. I was referred to gastroenterology and received a date in April for a colonoscopy. Before the appointment, I returned to the surgery due to continuing symptoms and requested that the colonoscopy be expedited. I was advised that, based on the examination, it was unlikely; however, in accordance with my request, a letter was written. My Dad then insisted on accompanying me to the Drs a couple of days later, requesting I be referred under the NICE guidelines for a 2-week suspected cancer pathway, following which I received an urgent appointment.
At this point I didn’t know much about anal cancer. To be honest I am not even sure I knew it even existed, however, knowing what I know now I would encourage anyone to be persistent and be your own health advocate. It can be hard for GPs to know who has got cancer or who might have a more minor condition. I just know that if the situation presented itself again, I would encourage anyone to ask questions and why a 2 week wait referral would not be felt necessary.
As a result of the colonoscopy the ball started rolling and further tests revealed I had anal cancer. I think from that moment something took over and I went into survival mode. I had two boys who are my world, and I wasn’t ready to leave them.
There followed months of blood tests, MRI, CT and PET scans. The waiting for results could be hard and there were some dark times (particularly the early hours of the morning) when fear took over and I just cried. Support from family and friends made a huge difference and I will always be grateful to them, the medical staff and Macmillan nurses who I spoke to during these times and whose kindness and support was invaluable.
With all the diagnostics done I was staged at T4, N1, M0 meaning the tumour was growing into surrounding organs and had spread to a groin lymph node. The cancer had thankfully not spread to other areas. I began receiving chemoradiation which meant having chemotherapy and radiotherapy together. I was in quite a lot of pain at this point, sitting down wasn’t easy and I needed antibiotics for an infection which I think was due the tumour growing into other organs. However, once treatment was up and running the pain and discomfort started to ease. After a reaction to the chemo and an evening in A&E a new course of chemotherapy was arranged. The unit had a lovely coffee machine and sandwiches! I usually felt at the worst a few days after the chemo, however, it passed, and the medications helped a lot.
The treatment was tough, however, short and I consider myself extremely lucky. The sickness tablets took away a lot of the nausea and initially the radiotherapy was painless. I meditated a lot and whilst lying in the scanner I visualised little zappers (in time with the noise from the MRI scanner) taking out all the cancer cells! Towards the end of the treatments the radiation burns made toilet trips hard and I was prescribed liquid morphine, but the treatment did what it had to do and I was given cream that helped enormously. I also found Epsom salt baths helpful. As someone who usually lived in jeans, I had to entertain a whole new wardrobe of dresses and skirts!
Sometime later I received the news there was no evidence of cancer! The most welcome news ever. I have some long terms effects from the treatment which has meant living differently but that’s okay - I am so grateful for every day. Post treatment I attended a centre attached to the hospital which provided information and support. I found this period messed a lot with my head as when receiving the treatment, I kind of just detached myself as it was my way of managing. I think afterwards you begin to process it all. I received reflexology a few times at the centre having experienced it before and liked it. I remember looking forward to attending and the support, peace, and time to switch off from the chaos in my head that they provided so when I was reevaluating, and I saw a course that enabled me to train as a reflexologist I went for it. I love the idea of being able to provide someone that feeling that the sessions gave to me, and I hope in some small way I can make a difference. Despite cancer being a horrible illness and gruelling treatment, I would not change it. It has given me an opportunity to learn, hopefully teach my children that life has challenges and how we respond to them can make a difference to their experiences and learnt the ability to slow down and enjoy the moment. My faith is stronger, and I feel truly blessed. Life is a gift.
Finding information about anal cancer was hard. This needs to change. It could be a conversation stopper and slightly awkward at times depending upon who I was talking to and where, however, I am open about my diagnosis and feel it is hugely important to bring awareness of anal cancer around the world. I learnt the connection with the HPV virus and feel it is crucial to raise awareness and why such organisations like the anal cancer foundation are so important. When I was newly diagnosed reading the thriver stories gave me support and hope. Everybody’s experience is different; however, I hope that you find support in all our experiences, and we look forward to reading your thriver story. You got this.
